Ultraviolet
by Lyumia
Summary: Previously untitled. SOLDIERS blurred the line between humans and gods.
1. Best Friends

**A.N: Idk what I'm doing anymore.**

* * *

He stared sometimes.

It wasn't intentional. His thoughts just became blissfully silent when a black haired man was silently glowing in the low light streaming in from the sinking sun past the large windows on their own. If his mother could see him she would say that Sjofn herself had come down and cursed him. Dark skin bathed in orange and wild black hair that shined.

He was cursed to be ignored in all the ways he wanted to be acknowledged. But the one he was watching just laughed when he caught him gazing. His blue eyes crinkled and dimples showed on the sides of dark cheeks. "Cloud, you're staring again. I know I'm irresistible but you've been super quiet lately." He clicked on the controller buttons loudly, music from the TV becoming faster and tense. He gave Cloud a side glance, earning the avatar on the large screen a slash from a Grand Horn's claws.

Cloud shrugged, ignoring how the light that was now hitting lagoon blue eyes made them the richest shade of searing green. Cheap games and movies stood out from the cabinets, dated fonts with long or misleading titles shouting at him. "I'm fine." The concern from the other didn't disappear but he turned back to the video games regardless.

"Right." His voice was uncharacteristically quiet. "We're fine."

A string of guitar notes kicked up, startling Cloud just as he was about to slip back into his own mind. He blinked at the screen, watching the avatar pull of a visceral attack that sent particle effects flashing across the scene. "Sure you don't want to play?" Zack asked as the music died down, wind instruments replacing an energetic tune and a village coming into sight on screen.

"Yeah." _I'm suffocating_.

His eyes snapped over to Zack, a series of high pitched notes coming from his PHS in one of the large pockets of his dark blue uniform. The game was paused with an eager button press and with inhuman speed it was to his ear in an instant. "Hey Aerith."

Cloud's throat seized up and his mouth felt impossibly dry.

"No, I'm not busy right now." He grinned, the widest Cloud had ever seen. Zack sat silently while the woman spoke from the other blond ducked his head with a frown, staring down at his socked feet with an incurable itch spreading on his skin.

Zack was his only friend. And they were only friends.

"Sure babe, we can go on a date tonight." Zack nodded enthusiastically, something that made his heart tear itself up even though he knew better. The one sided chatter continued, Zack bouncing his leg as they sorted out the details together on the phone.

Cloud stood. Zack didn't look up. He moved to the door without a sound.

"One sec. Cloud," the man was now staring at him, phone pressed to the knit fabric of his sleeveless turtleneck. "Where are you going?"

"Back to the barracks." His mouth twitched into a frown despite his best efforts to school it into something neutral.

His thin brows drew together at the answer. "Why? Purgatory was pushed back and you were supposed to sleepover… " His eyes widened and he gave Cloud a pout. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. it's fine." He turned back to the door, turning the knob but Zack was already moving and had a hand on his before he could open it. Please don't torture me like this. "You need to get ready for your date." He didn't turn to look at him, but the taller no doubt noticed how tense his muscles were.

"I can cancel."

"Don't. You never get to spend time with her."

The older gave him a pitiful look, lips pressed into a thin line. "Won't you stay and help me pick out some stuff?"

Cloud shifted, funneling his restlessness with that one action, and pushed the door open, the motion making Zack's hand slide off his. "Not interested." He forced himself to speed down the hallway, escaping off a side corridor that lead to the stairs without turning back.

It was a long jog off the middle floors of Shinra Headquarters, 70 stories of dark steel and the green wisps of mako surrounded by thick power lines it was an imposing building. The stairs were no less endless and winding as his boots clattered down them. He let out a shuddering breath, reaching the bottom. His body shook, and he hoped people would pass off his wobbly steps for exhaustion rather than the tempestuous pang of his heart each time it pounded in his chest on the long walk to the train station. He had to get ready for drills tomorrow.


	2. Built By Mortal Hands

Drills usually started off with "Strife! Get that freaky look off your face and start running!" at some point with him staring blankly at his commanding officer who scowled where he stood atop a ledge in the training field. He would sigh, and start with a brisk jog towards the tires laid out in the mud. He kept thinking about last night. He arrived after curfew, but no one cared if a few army grunts showed up late. They weren't important compared to the walking legends Shinra had on hand.

His boots sunk into the mud, sloshing with each step he took. It felt like it was trying to suck him in. He wouldn't mind letting go like that, sprawling out in the filth looking up at the sky.

"They're jealous of each other." He thought of his mother as he ran. She had said one night, her back facing him while she chopped the Venables they had to grow in their garden. The windows were open because it was an usually hot summer and the AC unit was dusting and rusted. He he leaned up on the wobbly kitchen stool to look at her face she had a distant look in her eye.

"Who is ma?" He remembered himself asking. He could recall her response as he started to scale the plastic rock face in the training field. His muscles ached while his mother's voice rang loud and clear in his mind.

"The sky and the earth of course." She chuckled, turning her back head to look at him. He was weaker back then. His bones wereprominent and his skin always had a deathly pale parlor. "From the moment they were born from hot bleeding flesh, the sky decorated itself with the very cloth of space. The land looked up with envy, the beautiful spectrum of pastel covers burying an envy so deep the smell of rot gave way to beautiful flowers, creatures that feasted on those flowers, and so on.

The sky looked back, shifting from day to night longing for color it showered rain onto the earth, painting it grey and making beautiful rainbows. The rain created mud, trees slumped over with water and creatures hiding from the cold deep within their burrows.

Still the sky was beautiful, while the seasons passed and the mud began to freeze over. Silently the land watched in serene silence, naked against the sky and-"

"Strife!" Cloud's hand slipped, fingers burning and red. He crashed down onto his back, pain freeing a whimper from his throat. In the mud, he looked up at the sky. Brown clung to his skin. Some of it had splashed onto his face during the impact and it caked his hair.

Still he gazed up at the mako green blue sky, longing to touch it.

But he couldn't. He turned back to the course and dragged himself through the mud. Drills ended, and Cloud pondered if those in the sky have ever looked down with envy.

Probably not.

He took the elevators to a higher floor once he cleaned himself up from purgatory. The secretaries didn't mind giving him a free pass to the library, which he held gingerly. It wasn't even an issue since all of the classified material had been moved to a higher floor after an incident when someone sold off blueprints from the Weapons Department.

Cloud smiled, pulling the book he was currently reading off a shelf. Really, who would leave sensitive material like that in a run down place like this?

He settled down in the chair, flipping open the pages of the book with a small smile. Comforted by the silence and the occasional rustle of paper he almost didn't notice when a shadow fell over him. "While the humor is far too raunchy for my tastes, the author has potential."

He looked up, blinking at the silhouette, light making his eyes water. "I'm sure the author would be flattered if they were alive." He deadpanned, about to go back to his book when blue shined through the blurry image framed by the warm light.

Mako eyes.

His neck was starting to hurt with how he was craning it back to look into the light blue irises. "The way you squint is incredibly unattractive." The SOLDIER huffed.

Out of habit he replied "It doesn't get much better." The man moved, bright colors returning to the washed out world. He rubbed away the last of the water blurring his vision. Howling reds came first, the texture and shine of leather, the crescendo of oranges and pale yellows softening the scream of red, more subtle tones and the brown and green of the room washed over him. And finally, as quickly as a wave, it ended with blue. Bright, sky blue.

The redhead didn't seem interested in saying any more, looking about this section of the library with a bored expression and lazily cradling the cover of his own book. Cloud just returned to his own, book, letting out a breathless laugh at one of the jokes. "Even your laugh is horrendous." He scoffed.

Cloud inhaled sharply, reminding himself that ShinRa had rules detailing off duty insubordination and hurried to finish a chapter. Returning the book to it's shelf he glanced back at the table. The soldier was still there, elbow on the table. He leaned on the back of his hand, supporting his chin on it. His eyes were half closed, orange lashes a strange hue above the light his eyes cast on them.

There was something about SOLDIERs. Cloud lamented as he left the library, staring up at the cloudy sky.

Something that just wasn't normal.

Since only SOLDIERS were usually given company provided transportation, patrols relied heavily on trains for lone division assignments. It wasn't uncommon to find a few soldiers from the army during the hours the system ran, which was inconvenient to Cloud because he was known for his horrible motion sickness.

He glanced to the side, one of his squad members sat next to him, scratching a box of wrapped cigarettes as he talked to another from the same platoon that Cloud didn't know. He tried to ignore them, focusing on his queasy stomach and not throwing up.

"... the Commander just walked off after the General disarmed him and he walked right past me. It was amazing." The man spoke animatedly, even behind the metal bucket called a helmet Cloud could see he was fawning.

"Well whoop-de-fucking-do, good for you." Thomas rolled his eyes, flicking a strand of brown hair out of his face. "Talk about something else."

The man- Sanders - deflated. "But I thought… You asked… I got a letter from my mom this morning?"

"From Kalm right? That's nice. What did she say?" Thomas relaxed, no longer glaring at the other.

"Just that some Fangs looked like they were getting more aggressive. And that she was worried."

Cloud tilted his head back. Kalm Fangs were little pups on the continent identifiable by dark purple fur their hunting packs. ShinRa would probably "Send in a SOLDIER with a support squad, hopefully before it gets bad." Thomas voice spoke his thoughts. "Gaia knows the brass are a bunch of lazy fucks who cling to their money."

"Yeah… But apparently these ones were different." The other lowered his voice to a whisper. "Mutated. With green mako eyes."

"It's not uncommon." Cloud interjected after a significant pause.

Both heads turned to look at him, and Thomas had a brow raised skeptically. He shrugged, glancing out at the cityscape. It was getting late, the sun sat low in the sky, coloring skyscrapers orange, their windows glinting in the light. "It's not uncommon for monsters to have mako in them, in areas that are rich with it. The reactors probably brought more to the surface.

My hometown had that problem, but I guess the wolves and zuus didn't really come down the mountain that often. Except in spring. And dragons don't leave their caves all year round. I guess the reactors have messed up the ones around the cliffs and they made their way to Kalm."

"Zuus?"

"Dragons?" The other grunt squeaked in disbelief.

Cloud shrugged again, turning his attention back out to the window. The sight of the city cut off to a dimly lit tunnel, lines speeding past and making him feel dizzy. The train jerked to a stop, the scratchy pop of the intercom system turning on as a robotic voice told them the stop and wished them all a good day. "C'mon Cloud." Thomas stood, pulling out a cigarette as he walked towards the exit. "I wanna walk a little."

He followed, eager to get off and get rid of his nausea. Brown eyes glanced back at him with subtle curiosity, but otherwise Thomas had his usual indifference as he reluctantly tore off the packaging lit the smoke.

"So." He said, smoke curling up from his lips, ashes dropping from the stick as he tapped it. "What do you think of all of it? That fight between Commander Rhapsodos and Sephiroth."

"I thought you didn't like talking about them." Or any SOLDIER in general. Thomas was always quick to shut down any conversation that began with anything from 'Hero of Wutai' to 'SOLDIER Trinity.' However, he did seem to get along with Zack when the SOLDIER came looking for him.

"Depends." He shrugged. "I like politics. I like opinions." He chuckled, motioning to the guards stationed at their patrol who thanked them for relieving them of the dull task. "I like having opinions."

"The brass would be scandalized." He deadpanned, adjusting the rifle strapped to his back. He smiled a little when Thomas laughed. The older man and he weren't close, and he didn't think Thomas actually liked anyone but tolerated Cloud the best.

Thomas snorted, leaning against the wall. "Damn right."

"I don't really have an opinion." He admitted. "They're rich military men." Rich military men who could at any point take over the world and get away with it.

"Hn. Doesn't it bother you then? How people laugh and fawn over them?" Thomas frowned, running his hand through his straight hair. He usually gelled it back, but Cloud guessed he woke up late for purgatory again.

"I don't really care." He shrugged. "It's not like people come up to me and tell me about the last Silver Elite meeting." Thomas crinkled his nose at the mention. "What brought this up?"

"Well…" Thomas puffed out another cloud of smoke. "My sister is the Secretary of the Silver Elite. So people come up to me and talk about it. The constant worshiping gets tiring after a while. I figured you were different."

Cloud winced in sympathy. The Silver Elite was one of the biggest fan clubs for General Sephiroth. The man was an icon of power and masculinity. He often imagined the man was the waking monster Frankenstein hard created. But unlike the monster this one was worshiped for his strange eyes. He was a man who brought the world down to its knees, subjugated and entire nation, who both captivated and terrorized the hearts of many.

An untouchable God walking the land, but from the stories he heard from his mother as a child, he couldn't help but feel the same fate would fall upon the man who shook the world with his name alone.

And with that name it brought despair.

"That sucks."

Thomas sighed. "Yeah, and it's not like I can talk about it because all these fucktards are obsessed with 'em."

Cloud thought back to his time earlier in the library, and the orange haired SOLDIER who sat with him.

"I can see the appeal in worshipping them."

"Pft. That's why we're here. Or at least why we came here."

He thought of the redhead who had seemed bored, flipping through pages but not really reading them. Like he had studied the words himself until it simply became a well rehearsed verse. Occasionally having to reread a page because he realized he had been staring at it.

"Thomas?"

"Hn?"

Somehow that boredom was familiar. Reminiscent of some nights were no stories were shared, and the sky was pouring snow onto the window that was caked in ice. Where his mother and him laid together in agonizing silence as the cold seeped in. The agonizingly slow patrols. The boring missions.

"They seem a little more human than I thought."

Thomas didn't say anything, resuming the monotonous routine of patrolling the streets.

Even gods became bored.


	3. Envied By Gods

**A.N: this chapter is extremely rough in regards to spelling and structure.**

* * *

He woke woke up with an incessant ache inside inside his skull. There were no windows in the barracks, yet it seemed as if he had baked out in the sun until his skin was tender and uncomfortably hot. He breathed heavily through blocked nostrils and blinked through the darkness. With a small noise he vented his discomfort and resigned himself to the laborious task of getting dressed to go to the infirmary.

Frigg's handmaidens would mock him, he would've told himself. But he was beneath their notice. The halls looked the same with their greyish color. It was supposed to be the last right. But the last right just lead to a longue and he wasn't sure if he even knew right from left anymore.

Stupidly, his brain suggested checking which hand could make a better L.

"It's after curfew." The rumble sent the hairs on his neck jumping out of their pores. He spun around, but tripped over his own heel and stumbled crashing into a potted plant.

A fake potted plant.

Green eyes gazed down at him emotionlessly, pupils thinned into barely visible slits for a split second before widening. "It's after curfew." General Sephiroth repeated. His oval shaped face somehow radiating displeasure despite being stone.

Cloud sniffed heavily, croaking out "Infirmary."

A thin silver brow arched in question.

His foggy brain giggled that the pale general would blend into the off-white wall behind him if he were to strip down naked. "I'm looking for the infirmary."

"Is your condition unstable?"

It took him a moment to process what he said. "No."

"Then going to the infirmary would be a waste of company materials and time. Would it not?"

I'll waste the finest company silk just to blow my fucking nose right now he thought irritably.

Instead of displeasure, the silver haired man began radiating a mix disgust and something else that made his lips a little lopsided. Almost like a smirk but more akin to an alien trying to be cool after watching Grease. "Classy." He deadpanned. "I saw Scarlet visiting the base, if you want to try your hand using her dress as a tissue."

"As much as I want to die, I'm not interested in being bludgeoned to death by stiletto heels right now." He joked lamely.

The general gave him a long look. He could understand Zack's frustration with not being able to read him well, as the man expressed less emotion than a rock. The angelic figure took a step closer and extended his hand. The blond stared at the gloved limb and squinted before glancing back at the General in confusion. "Do you need help standing up?"

He looked down at himself. He was half leaning on the potted plant and spilled the mulch onto the floor. Some of it seemed to be stuck together by some kind of green goo. He nodded, taking the General's hand.

Then he woke up back in the barracks, with a pill of antibiotics on the floor prescribed to him because there was no other place to put it. His squad was gone and their beds were made neatly. He didn't trust the voice that told him he was carried to bed last night. He didn't dare trust it. He refused to believe someone like him touched the hands of a god again.

When he woke up feeling less like a truck had backed over him the next morning he was stuck with double patrol duty to make up the hours he missed. The sky grumbled in complaint, bulging clouds preparing to flood the arid and barren lands below. When he first arrived he realized Midgar never advertised it's whether for a reason. The green clouds promised a week long thunderstorm and both SOLDIER and infantry alike would either be charged with evacuating slum citizens into refuge areas or letting them drown.

His PHS beeped out a warning for low visibility in some sectors appearing already. Thomas who was with him ignored the beep of his phone, grinding an unlit cigarette beneath his boot. "Weather report?" The street lamps turned blue in response changing from their usual green. Something that only happened when they turned down the power to prevent any serious mako spills from damaged pipelines pumping the poison at full speed. "Shiiit."

Thunder cracked and illuminated the black steel framing the streets, the blue glows casting ethereal shadows on the metal of his squad members helmets. "Well fuck." A shorter one swore. "Now I gotta smoke with those assholes inside."

The heavens began to weep, sending a curtain of droplets down and pelting the metal helmets. "Fuck." They chorused.

By the time they were done splashing through puddles they were thoroughly soaked and shivering. Cloud was already sneezing again as he ran a towel through his wild blond hair that he cut unevenly in a broken mirror. His PHS vibrated in his pocket. With a flick of his wrist it opened, and the display made him frown as his eyes traced the letters over and over.

Zack F: 14 unread messages

Zack F:

Hey Cloud wanna hang out today?

5:07AM

Zack F:

Are you busy?

5:20AM

Zack F:

It's purgatory today, isn't it? Just lmk when you can.

5:30AM

Zack F:

Training with Geal early cause he has a mission, txt me later?

5:40AM

Zack F:

What's up?

4:05PM

Zack F:

I'm sorry if I made you feel left out. I know I do that a lot. Let me make it up to you. Takeout and movie at my place ;)

5:40PM

Zack F:

I'm sorry. I messed up. Will you forgive me?

6:22PM

Cloud sighed, not even interested in reading anymore. He was officially ignoring his only friend now- and Cloud knew that made him a shitty friend, but all he could bear was take refuge in the library where he dragged himself and sulked with his current book to keep himself from loathing his existence even more. Quickly hiding there he was an hour into reading and being a coward in the old dusty place the red haired SOLDIER was back again let out a loud sigh, flopping down just one seat away. But he somehow managed to both exaggerate the action and make it seem graceful.

Cloud became hyper aware of the presence next to him, how the man would lean in Cloud's massive personal bubble when he lingered too long on a page with his blue eyes flickering up and down the page. "What are you reading?" The words spilled ouout stumbling like a deathclaw on ice. The SOLDIER looked up at him with his lips pressed together tightly and a wrinkle between the bridge of his nose and his brow.

"LOVELESS." He closed the book, displaying the white cover and gold embroidery. "Don't you know? It's my favorite."

"Should I know?" The muscles of his lips twitched down, but he tired to force them to remain neutral.

The SOLDIER's fair features shifting into something like resentment. "I'm Genesis Rhapsodos." At Cloud's lack of reaction he scowled. "I suppose you'd be more familiar with the 'Almighty Hero of Wutai Sephiroth.'"

"I know who you are." Cloud glared back. He should just leave it at that- go back to reading or even leave. Anything was better than possibly being accused of insubordination, to a SOLDIER no less. "I just don't care."

Rhapsodos narrowed his eyes, inhaling sharply. "Now-" But Cloud was already turning around and shoving his book back into the shelf with such ferocity it would make his Ma proud before she promptly scolded him for rough handling it. "Are you leaving?" Rhapsodos huffed behind him, his leather boots loud against the floor.

"Well I'm not staying to talk to you." Dear gods, Strife shut up. Insubordination and unprofessional were going to be the go to word for others to describe his career.

"Why not? I'm sure I could prove to be much more entertaining than your squad." His scowl deepened, throwing his hands up. "What do they even talk about? The general? His god like strength? Do they talk about how much they'd like to bed him? How wonderful." He drawled, eyes smoldering with acid green mako.

"I said I'm not going to talk to you and I don't want to deal with your stupid ego issues. You're already worshiped like a god, is to not enough for you that you need to go and bother with people like me?"

He was about to step out but the man grabbed his arm and held him there with ease. "People like you?" His thin brow was arched high.

"Let go." He grinded his teeth together with a seething glare.

"Explain."

He made a noise in his throat, glaring up at Rhapsodos with a shrill screech squeaking out from frustration quickly masked by covered by a string of beeps.

Both of them paused at high pitched tune of a PHS, and both checked their pockets to see whose was ringing.

It was Cloud's.

His throat clenched when he saw the number and Rhapsodos' eyes fixed themselves on his face. The commander's broad shoulders tensed and a scowl made its way into his lips. "Well? It'd be rude to ignore them."

He cracked pathetically. "Hey."

Zack's voice came garbled through the speaker but Rhaspodos' scowl grew deeper as the 2nd class went on "Cloud! I was so- you sound like shit. Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine." He closed his eyes slightly staring down at the stained patterns under the leather boots instead of the ginger's face. "Hey I…"

"Don't you dare apologize, or else I'll come find you and hug the shit outta you." He quickly insisted with a chuckle. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to a cafe with me. I know I fucked up, and I wanted to apologize."

"You don't have to."

"I want to." There was a long inhale on the other line. "I worry about you. You sound so sad all the time now, and I want you to know you can trust me. We're friends aren't we?"

"... yeah." He bit his lip, the flesh burning in protest as blood began to pool. "You're my best friend." He bit back a self deprecating remark.

Zack let out a little breath and there was some crackling. "I'm on the train going into a tunnel right now, so I'll meet you there at the usual spot, okay?"

"Okay…"

He placed a hand on a table to steady himself as his lungs contracted violently in his chest.

"Commander."

A man in a blue suit stood in the doorway, dark eyes observing them both with a blank expression. "Director Deusericus has called all the first classes together for a briefing.

A pained sound came from somewhere in the room and Rhapsodos huffed. "I'm done wasting my time on SOLDIER rejects." He strode past the new occupant, coat billowing behind him and boots thudding against the floor.

The man turned to him a brow raised, before he left as well, leaving Cloud alone. The sounds grew louder in intensity, closer and right by his ears. Animal and foreign, it came from the blacking edges in his vision and the sudden lack of air that reminded him of the sparse breaths he once suffered going too high on mount Nibel.

Tears began streak down his face when he realized those noises where coming from him. He fell to his knees and wheezed there quietly until a hand pressed against his back and rubbed in slow circles. From the corner of his eyes he could see a blue pant leg and black dress shoes. "It's okay," The voice hushed with a faint Midgar accent.

When he was calm enough the red haired Turk helped him stand and helped guide him towards the door. In the hall he turned around and shoved his hands into the pockets of his wrinkled blazer. "Yo… you never saw me here." He sauntered away, shouting as he rounded the corner. "You better not keep the dog waiting either."

Rubbing his eyes he made his way back to his bunk to freshen up. Staring at his reddened eyes in the mirror Cloud Strife reminded the boy in the mirror "Don't fuck up."


End file.
